I want my inward modesty to reflect outwardly. Are compliments on fashion and artistic outfit choices better than compliments solely based on beauty alone? Some people put a lot of weight into how people see them sexually or if body is desirable and I guess that is fine if you do. I just don't want to be sexualized. I want to be seen as a humble Godly person person not a sexy person.
Modesty is an attitude not just a style. I think actions are more important and less legalistic. I have to be humble, kind, forgiving, loving, non judgemental, un-condemning, un-selfrighteous, this can show through my clothing by not buying things that are extremely expensive.
I think I have to define what is too much and what is ok since there aren't any set guidelines other than don't be flashy, expensive, and obnoxious.
I think modesty to me connects to actions and inner faith. Modesty is you trying to show who you truly are, not just your physical traits. I think a part of modesty is basically avoiding being sexy. I realize I don't really feel comfortable when I am perceived obviously sexy. It's not because I don't feel sexy or I think it is wrong to be sexy, rather I don't think other people should have the privilege to see me sexy.
Actually, I think my version of modesty is not dressing for anyone or trying to impress anyone. Especially not trying to impress anyone sexually or with expensive clothes.
Are clothes purposeful and intelligent?
Hijab is beautiful. Long hair is beautiful. A bald head is beautiful and everything in between is beautiful. Being a human is beautiful. We can dictate who we want to be (if we have the privilege). We are influenced by so many things and those influences shape who we are. That is scary, lovely, boring, and interesting. I'm intrigued to know why humans make the decisions they do.
What made you want to draw that?
Do you think there's any meaning to life?
Does art have to have meaning or because it is art does it automatically become meaningful?
Does the person you are attracted to/opposite gender/same gender influence the way you dress?
Is it ok to dress for men?
Are you ever afraid to speak out about your beliefs?
I have tried to be more modest in some ways or at least I've been more conscious. I try not to gossip or anger quickly. I fail miserably at times, but I will keep trying.
I want my modest ideas/ideologies to match up with my feminist ideologies. Both modesty and feminism means that women shouldn't be seen as objects. Modest women can be feminist. I wish women in FEMEN would take the time to talk to hijabis.
I don't regret any of the things I've done. They've gotten me to where I am now.
I have so much to write about. After Thanksgiving I won't be wearing the headscarf. I realized that I'm just as much nervous to go to school with my hair out as I was to wear the headscarf to school. Silly, but true. I feel like I'm going to get more comments and even concerns. But, I am happy to be taking it off. I keep thinking about planning all the outfits I'm going to wear (they're probably aren't going to be that different) & how I'm going to wear my hair. I can't tell if I'm more excited to be able to wear whatever I want or to have my hair out. At the same time though modest fashion does suit me in some ways. I love it stylistically, and it's definitely something I'm going to take with em. And the comfort and mystery of a headscarf is not something I will forget. Mystery. It was fun to be mysterious. Even though, I do think modesty is an attitude/life choice rather than just an outfit. Modesty is so much more than clothing. How you dress is an extension of you, but it is not everything. At the end of the day clothing is just a piece of fabric and what really matters is your character and your hearts modesty.
I haven't been wearing my headscarf on the weekends for the past two weeks and I went on a walk around Philly without it today. It's not me. I feel me without it. When I see Muslim women without my headscarf, I still think I have it on and I wonder if they'll say Salam, but then I remember I'm not wearing it. Can't wait to not wear it. Probably after Thanksgiving.
I have started to notice that I don't want my neighbors to see my headscarf. Now, that I have a bit more free time and a little less stress, I think I should engross myself into my capstone.
I don't wear the headscarf in different styles like I thought I would. I wear it in the most generic egg head way. I don't have a lot of different scarves or maybe I do. But, I don't know, it is a lot of effort to try different styles in the morning. Which, is the same reason of why I would wear my hair in a bun so much.
I don't want to wear the headscarf, but modest fashion/man repelling fashion is definitely something I'm going to be taking with me. I like it and God wants his followers to be modest, so it's something I am thinking about.